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Nurturing Gifted Students, Affective Education is Equally Important

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Written by: Hong Kong Family Welfare Society School Social Worker

                   Kong Shu Ling

 

Gifted education is increasingly valued in Hong Kong, and the Education Bureau’s website states that the mission of gifted education is to identify and nurture gifted students in a systematic and directed manner and to provide them with appropriate educational opportunities so that they can fully realize their individual potential under a flexible teaching method and environment. According to the literature, gifted students are not only a group with a high IQ, but also have the potential to be gifted if they excel in other areas, such as the arts or leadership..

 

Difficulties of Gifted Students

Although gifted students have exceptional potential and learning abilities, their cognitive development is faster than the general population, and they have unique affective traits such as fear of failure and rebellion against authority, which often create real-life adjustment problems. These problems may lead to emotional distress and hinder the potential development of gifted students. In one article, “Letter from Helen,” the protagonist truly reflects the emotional difficulties that gifted students encounter.

 

The essay describes a Helen with an IQ of 146 who was treated as a “monster” when she was a child because of her prominent words and actions. She was afraid of answering questions in class because when she got them wrong, the class would make fun of her. Later, when she joined the society, her colleagues regarded her as a threat and treated her unkindly. In the process, even though she tried her best to develop a social circle, the only thing she got in return was more harm, which had a profound impact on her personally.

In addition, Dr. Daniel Gorman, a columnist for Time Magazine and a psychologist at Harvard University, made the point in his book that while IQ determines 20% of life, emotional intelligence dominates 80% of life. He also suggested that many people with IQ scores over 160 are working for those with IQ scores of 120 because people with lower IQs have developed emotional intelligence, which allows them to win in the workplace. This shows that even if a person has a high IQ, it does not mean that everything is smooth. Therefore, successful gifted education should not only focus on the cognitive development of gifted students, but also their emotional development, i.e., affective education, is equally important.

 

What is affective education?

Affective education in the narrow sense refers to guiding students’ emotional development, while in the broader sense, it refers to cultivating noble sentiments that help them establish positive life goals. However, affective education is not only about individual counseling of students, but also about the surrounding environment such as school and family, which are important factors affecting students’ affective development. As parents, the most important thing is to set an example and be a role model for their children. For example, when parents encounter impolite treatment from colleagues at work, they can share with their children how to control their emotions and respond appropriately when they get home, and put the “theory” into practice at home so that their children can learn. In addition, parents can help their children think from multiple perspectives. For example, their affective traits can have a positive side in addition to a negative one. Their perfectionist nature reflects their seriousness and hard work; their lack of conformity reflects their boldness to express and break with tradition. In this atmosphere of encouragement and acceptance, I believe gifted students will be able to give full play to their talents and gifts.

 

In fact, it does not matter if they are gifted or not, what matters is to believe that everyone is unique, and then to explore their potential and let it flourish with the right support!

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What can I eat to refresh my brain and enhance my memory?

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Written by : Registered Dietitian (Australia)

                   Chung Yong Man

 

It’s exam season and students are studying hard for their exams. Many parents ask, “What are the best foods to help your child refresh and maintain a good memory?

 

Carbohydrates

Carbohydrates are digested and converted into glucose, which provides sufficient energy for the brain. Therefore, I recommend eating an appropriate amount of carbohydrates at each meal to maintain the effective functioning of the brain. Food sources include grains and cereals such as rice, noodles, bread, oats, etc., and high starchy vegetables such as potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, chestnuts and taro. Choosing high-fiber grains and cereals such as whole grain breakfasts, oats, whole wheat bread and red rice will help stabilize blood sugar and maintain concentration.

 

Omega-3 fatty acids

Omega-3 fatty acids, such as EPA and DHA, are the main elements that make up the brain’s cell membranes and nerve tissues, maintaining the normal transmission of messages in the nervous system and helping to maintain good memory. Omega-3 fatty acids can be obtained from eating deep-sea fish such as salmon, tuna, mackerel, etc. I recommend eating 2 to 3 meals a week, with each meal being about 2 to 3 ounces (the size of the palm of your hand). In addition, almonds, walnuts and avocados are also rich in omega-3 fatty acids.

Lecithin

Lecithin is one of the important elements in the composition of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, so adequate intake helps to revitalize brain cells, make thinking sharper and enhance memory. Eggs, soybeans and their products such as tofu, soy milk and baked beans with ketchup are rich in lecithin.

 

Iron

Iron is the main element in the production of red blood cells, which transports enough oxygen and nutrients to the brain to help keep it awake. Red meats such as beef, lamb and ostrich are rich in iron, and I recommend eating 2 to 3 meals a week at about 2 to 3 ounces per meal. Iron can also be taken from dark green vegetables such as spinach and red kidney beans, but since plant-based iron is more difficult to be absorbed by the body, foods rich in vitamin C, such as oranges, kiwis and tomatoes, can be eaten at the same meal to increase absorption.

Antioxidant Nutrients

Stress and poor diet can increase free radicals in the body, which can damage body cells and accelerate degeneration, or impair memory. Vitamins A, C, and E are antioxidants that protect brain cells from free radical damage and prevent memory loss. Foods rich in vitamin A include carrots, pumpkin and spinach; vitamin E can also be obtained from nuts, eggs and dried beans.

 

The above nutrients can promote brain health, but we should not only focus on the intake of a single nutrient. I encourage people to diversify their diets as much as possible to get enough nutrients to keep the brain functioning optimally.

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“No!” “Not allowed!” “No!” Does it really work?

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Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist
　　　         Ip Wai Lun

 

Many times, parents get angry because their children don’t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn’t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, “Hey! Don’t touch it!” and “No!” and “Stop”, the child will hear many of these “No! and “No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.

 

As a parent, what can you do to make your child follow the rules without undermining his self-confidence? What kind of talking skills can parents use?

 

For example, if a child is angry and his face is red, we can use the following “three-step” approach.

 

Part I: Say How He Feels

“Mommy and Daddy see how angry you are ……”

“Look at your red face. ……”

 

Parents can try to help their children say how they feel. This is the first and most important step.

 

Part 2: Setting boundaries

When a child has a temper tantrum and may hit someone, parents should immediately set a line: “Okay, we can’t hurt others. Help him to set a compliance line.

 

Part 3: Arranging a platform for diversion

If the child has already hit someone, the parent should arrange a platform for the child to channel the anger.

 

For example, the parent can say, “Oh! I see you are so angry that your face is red and you want to hit someone! Why don’t you show Daddy how angry you are? “Why don’t you hit this shark doll?”

 

Maybe the child will say, “Yes, okay! and then hit the shark doll. At this point, the parent should tell the child, “Oh, Daddy is really angry to see you.

By allowing the child to express his or her emotions, the child will understand that when he or she has negative emotions, they won’t be accepted by the parents.

 

If parents use the above three steps, not only will they accept their children’s negative emotions, but they will also not condone their misbehavior, and most importantly, children will learn to follow the rules.

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Low toddler patience. Learning the importance of waiting

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Written by： Ms. Ng Ka Chun, Former Principal of Lok Sin Tong Leung Wong Wai Fong Memorial School 

 

Young children always have low patience and have difficulty tolerating & waiting. Self-control is a comprehensive ability of an individual to properly control and regulate his or her behavior without external supervision, to suppress impulses, and persevere to ensure the achievement of goals. It is an important component in the construction of self-awareness and is an important psychological quality for the success of an individual.

 

Waiting is the mark of a child’s success

In the 1960s, the American psychologist Professor Michel conducted a fudge experiment. He took a group of children aged about four to a modestly furnished house and gave them each a very tasty piece of fudge, telling them that if they ate the fudge right away, they could only eat one; if they ate it again after 20 minutes, they would be rewarded with one more piece of fudge, and they could eat two pieces of fudge in total. After Michelle left, some children were eager to eat the candy, while others were patient, closed their eyes, or rested their heads on their arms as sleep; some children talked to themselves or sang to divert their attention and spent time restraining their desire. Through observation, Michelle found that one-third of the children ate the candy immediately, one-third of the children waited for Michelle to come back and redeem the extra reward before they started to eat, and another one-third of the children insisted at first, but then could not resist giving up waiting.

Michel continued to follow the children who participated in the experiment until they graduated from high school. The results of the follow-up study showed that the children who started eating candy right away showed a lack of confidence and did not get along well with their peers as teenagers, while those who waited until the end to eat candy were socially competent, assertive and academically successful. The “waiters” scored an average of 210 points higher on the test than the “non-waiters”. The actual results show that those children who could wait had a much higher success rate than those who could not wait.

 

In the above experiment, Michel introduced the concept of “delayed gratification” – the ability to wait is the ability to delay gratification, and children with delayed gratification are more likely to succeed as adults.

 

Let babies learn to wait a while

Patience is not something children are born with, but it can be mastered through learning. Before a child can learn patience, he or she must have the “ability to measure and understand time” and the “ability to understand cause and effect” before we can develop the ability to tolerate frustration and delay gratification.

Infants from zero to 18 months of age have only two or three minutes of patience. Even so, newborns must be taught to wait a while, and encouraging patience begins with simply telling them. When he hears your words, he will begin to think about what will come later, so parents can prepare their baby for his needs while describing in words what you have prepared for him. When a few months old baby hears you, he will stop fretting as a sign that he understands what you are saying, because language is linked to cause-and-effect thinking, so it helps babies learn to delay gratification.

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Do not let children rely too much on the use of e-learning.
Diversified learning is more helpful to enhance interest

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Written by: Director of Program Development, Carmen Leung

 

In the midst of the epidemic, there is a wide range of educational animations or online children’s programs for parents to choose from. Many parents also download different tablet apps for their children to use in the hope that they can learn through interactive or interesting images and sounds. Which animations and apps are good for children’s learning? What should parents pay attention to when using multimedia to help their children learn?

 

Time to use e-learning according to age

 

In early childhood, as the brain area responsible for coordinating the five senses is developing rapidly, I do not recommend children aged 0 to 2 years old to rely too much on TV or tablet computers for learning. This is because the images on the TV or tablet are flashing at a very high frequency, and children’s eyes and brains will unconsciously receive stimulation continuously, and over time, visual stimulation will become a habit, and brain development will be affected, resulting in reduced concentration.

 

Some parents say, “My child is very attentive when watching TV and playing with iPhone, but not when reading books, so I buy a lot of learning animations for her to watch. Have parents ever thought that if the eyes and brain are accustomed to constant stimulation, relatively static things such as books and teachers’ explanations will naturally become uninteresting, if you continue to let young children rely on rich images to learn, what to do if one day in the future they will need to face books?

Since the brain of children over 2 years old is more mature, parents can let children over 2 years old use TV and computer to learn in a limited way. The time should be no more than 15 minutes a day as a starting point, and older children can watch a little more. As children grow older, the high-frequency flicker of the computer or TV will have a relatively lesser impact on brain development.

 

Multi-learning mode is recommended

 

Although displays have an effect on children’s attention span, I do not believe that using TV and computers for learning is undesirable. Multimedia or computer programs can make learning more interesting and interactive, so that children can enjoy learning more and learn more quickly. However, in addition to using interactive multimedia for learning, children also need to adapt to other less interactive learning modes, such as books and one-way lectures, and find the fun in learning.

Parents should provide their children with a variety of learning channels, such as taking them to the library, playing educational games with them, visiting museums, going for walks on nature education trails, or even teaching them to read the English menu at restaurants, etc., so that they can try different learning modes and methods to find the joy of learning.

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Having breakfast makes you smarter.
What breakfast can “wake up our brain and morning” ?

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Written By: Founder of Kat-Spirit Nutrition Centre
Senior Nutritionist Ng Yiu Fun

The school year has started, did the children have breakfast before school? Many children have different reasons for not eating breakfast, but parents should pay attention to the fact that breakfast has a great impact on the growth of children!

Earlier, a study by the Chinese University of Hong Kong showed that breakfast has a significant impact on the academic performance of students. Students who have the habit of eating breakfast every day, test scores are more than 5 points higher than the average student who did not eat breakfast. Why does breakfast make us smarter?

Because the brain needs blood sugar for nutrient absorption and consumption, but when our body sleeps all night without food, the body has consumed our blood sugar for the whole day. Therefore, we need to eat breakfast to replenish blood sugar, so that our response becomes faster. Parents may ask, “What is the best breakfast for children?”

What breakfast can “wake up our brain and morning”?

  1. Starchy food
    This includes porridge, flour, noodles, rice, bread and biscuits, so we can eat a sandwich, a bowl of macaroni or rice flour as well; even drinking milk, eating oatmeal or corn flakes is fine.
  2. Protein supplement
    Since protein itself can make us react faster, for example, shredded chicken is rich in protein, so for breakfast, you can choose a bowl of rice noodles in shredded chicken soup or macaroni in shredded chicken soup, or have an egg sandwich with cheese, which can also help us replenish our needs for the day. So all parents remember to remind children to eat breakfast before going to school!
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Children wet the bed at night, but cannot control themselves.

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Written by: Chinese Doctor Yiu Yee Chiu

Every parent wants their child to develop well and quickly, not to lag behind, if not to be better than others. In medicine, there is a condition between “disease” and “physiology” that both parents and children find very disturbing. This is “nocturnal enuresis in children”.

Nocturnal enuresis is a stage of physiological development, but it is a problem if a child is still unable to control his or her urination and wets the bed after the age of 5. Nocturnal enuresis in children can be divided into two types: primary and secondary. The former is a pathological cause, such as spina bifida, or developmental delay. In the case of secondary causes, the child has control over the urine, but then for some reason, it gets out of control. The most common cause is an unexplained delay in development.

Medication, Physical Therapy, and Life
In Chinese medicine, the production of urine is related to several internal organs. The causes are kidney qi deficiency, spleen-lung qi deficiency, and liver stagnation and heat. In clinical practice, the main cause is kidney qi deficiency. Unlike adult enuresis or secondary enuresis in children, the condition will generally improve with several months of treatment. However, the treatment must be combined with medication, physical therapy, and life support.

Chinese herbal medicine treatment: the main ingredients are mulberry cuttlebone, puzzle nut, whole cherry, Schisandra, yam, and mulberry.

Physical therapy: Acupuncture and massage, mainly for the bladder and kidney meridians in the back

Strict abstinence from food: Avoid cold and raw foods and beverages to avoid further damage to kidney energy

Food therapy: Use peaches, tzatziki, Chinese yam, etc. as a meal or dessert

Hot compress before bedtime: Apply hot compresses to the kidney points on the back of the bladder meridian every night before bedtime. For a more pronounced effect, use cumin, white pepper, or peppercorns and then wrap them in a cloth bag.

It turns out that nocturnal enuresis is not a rare occurrence and most children recover completely. Therefore, the most important thing is how to let the child pass through this stage smoothly. If parents don’t handle it properly, it may affect their self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to see a doctor for a formal examination of the situation so that you can really help your child.

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Keep crying when going to school.
How to reduce the dependence of children on their parents?

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Written by: New Horizon Development Centre
Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

During the school season, we always hear sad cries at the entrance of the school, and it is always a headache for parents when children do not want to go to school alone without their parents. Because newborns lack the ability to protect themselves, survive and feed themselves, they must rely on their parents in their daily lives. This is not only true for humans, but also for babies of other mammals, such as dogs, lions, and dolphins, who must rely on their parents for survival.

As they grow older, some children are able to live more independently and gradually become independent of their parents, while others progress more slowly. For example, some three- and four-year-olds are not allowed to leave their eyesight even though their parents are still at home; some cannot go to playgroups or extracurricular activities by themselves, or they will scream and cry. In some cases, even if the mother is outside, the child refuses to go to the toilet alone.

Why do children rely on their parents?
Why do children become dependent? It may be because the child is not physically active enough to take care of himself/herself, or it may be due to psychological factors, they are afraid or they are used to relying on their parents. In fact, parents can gradually train their children to be independent, mentally and habitually, so that they can reduce their over-dependence.

Increase the strength of using eating utensils
When children eat, they are passively fed by parents at first, then parents can hold their children’s hands to feed them so that they need to move their arms. Then gradually change the grasping part to the wrist, forearm, and elbow, so that the child needs to gradually increase the strength of using the eating utensil

Increase parental time away from the child and walking time
When children are accompanied by their parents at home, one of the parents can try to leave the child’s sight for a short period of time, and after the child gets used to it, both parents can leave together and let the child be taken care of by others. At the same time, parents can also increase the time of leaving according to the child’s progress.

When going out, parents can gradually reduce the time of holding the baby and ask them to try to walk home by themselves. Instead of carrying the baby all the way home, gradually change to carrying the baby to land at the door of the house, landing in front of the elevator, landing in the ground floor lobby, and landing after returning to the estate, gradually increasing the time for the baby to walk.

Inertia dependence of children is caused by parents

In fact, some children’s habitual dependence is caused by parents who take care of their children too much, give them too much, or give them too much help in the process of growth. Some parents think that their children are weak and cannot do anything well, so they do most of the work for them in order not to mess things up, and some parents even feel successful because their children are caring and dependent on them. If the situation continues, it will have many negative effects on the child in the future.

One day, children will be independent of their parents and need to take care of themselves, so parents should let go of their children appropriately in order to let them grow up. There are many books about the growth of children and objective guidelines for appropriate behavior at each age for parents’ reference.

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Wear face mask for long time during Epidemic.
How to make children learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes”?

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Written by: Hong Kong Speech and Swallowing Therapy Centre
Senior Speech Therapist Eunice Siu

 

In our daily interactions with others, we not only observe others’ behaviors, but also “explain” and “predict” others’ behaviors. Theory of mind is the ability to infer or substitute other people’s mental states, such as their thoughts, beliefs, desires, and intentions, etc., and to use this ability to explain other people’s thoughts, perceptions, and predict their behaviors. Theory of mind can be subdivided into “emotion recognition”, “beliefs” and “pretend play”.

 

The developmental period for children’s theory of mind is from approximately 3 to 7 years of age. However, before the age of 3, children need to master the following skills to effectively develop theory of mind skills.

 

1. noticing and imitating the behavior of people around them
2. recognizing the emotions of others and using words to express them (e.g., happy, sad, angry, surprised)
3. participates in pretend play
4. understands that different people have different desires and preferences
5. understands that people will act to get what they want (e.g. reach for candy)
6. understands the causes and consequences of unsympathetic emotions (e.g. if I hit my brother, my mom will be mad and then she will scold me)

Ways to improve theory of mind are:

 

1. Use more psychologically relevant words when talking to your child

 

Using psychologically related words to communicate with children can help children understand their own and others’ psychological conditions more specifically. Examples of psychologically related words are “think,” “pretend,” “know,” “believe,” “feel,” and words related to emotions. Pay attention to what your child is trying to say and then respond. For example, “Ah! You want cake”, “Don’t be afraid! You think I’m gone, but I’m still here,” and “Mommy’s mad at you for hitting your brother. Parents can also explain to their children the psychological situation of others, e.g., “Mei-mei is smiling so much when she receives a birthday present, she should be very excited.

 

2. Participate in role-playing games with your child

 

Role-playing games encourage children to put themselves in different situations and characters’ perspectives to draw inferences about their behavior. To begin, children can pretend to be common everyday characters, such as mothers, doctors, teachers, and drivers. Parents should pay attention to the fact that both the words and behaviors in the game should be substituted for the role played. This activity helps children experience a variety of emotions, thoughts and interactions in different social situations, and learn to observe, imitate, anticipate, review and adjust their thoughts and behaviors.

I hope parents can make good use of the opportunity to share and communicate more with their children in daily life, so that they can learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes” (meaning read people’s faces) and become a “mind-reading detective”!

 

Source：
Hollin, P., Baron-Cohen, S.,& Hadwin,J.(1999). Teaching children with autism tomind-read. West Sussex, England: Wiely Press

 

Lowry, L.(2015).” Tuning in” to others: How young children develop theory of mind. The Hanen Centre.

 

Spastics Association of Hong Kong (2005). Connecting: Developing social skills in children with autism. Spastics Association of Hong Kong.

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To love children, first to love themselves,
3 moves to teach you to maintain the best mental state

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Written by :Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist
                   Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

 

In today’s society, it is indeed not easy for parents to maintain a good state of mind and body. I have met with many parents and found that the difficulty most parents face is not that they do not understand their children’s feelings and needs, or that they do not know how their behavior affects their children, but that it is difficult to maintain a trusting and optimistic attitude towards their children when they are in a situation. Often, parents become increasingly anxious as they worry that their child’s problems will continue and worsen, and repeat ineffective ways of dealing with their child’s problems.

 

So, how can parents maintain the best mental state to face the stress and challenges of disciplining their children? Here are some tips for parents to consider:

 

1. Be more sensitive to your own stress levels
Parents are human beings, so there will be times when they are depressed or physically and emotionally exhausted. The purpose of parents being sensitive to their own mental state is to remind themselves that they need to take care of their own needs first. It is difficult for parents to be sensitive and responsive to the needs of their children when they are in a highly stressed state. Conversely, inappropriate responses may harm the child and damage the parent-child relationship.

 

2. Use resources effectively to relieve stress
When parents feel stressed, they should try to explore and make good use of their own internal and external resources to regulate their negative emotions. For example, find family members or friends to talk to, do things that can relax you, and find positive thoughts and beliefs to encourage you. The purpose is to give yourself a proper rest and temporary relief from stress.

3. Turn your mind around and reflect
If a parent’s stress continues and increases, professional help is needed. Sometimes, these pressures come from more than just external influences. Parents’ self-worth, worldview, and perceptions of things can affect how we parent. For example, some parents worry that they are not doing enough to fulfill their parental responsibilities and end up pushing their children to study or participate in activities, or even that they are not flexible enough to respond to their children’s needs when they are stressed and negative.

 

If parents are aware of and take care of their own feelings and needs, they can prevent their negative emotions from affecting the next generation.

 

Therefore, parents who love their children must first love themselves. Only when parents are healthy and happy can their children grow up healthy and happy.

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