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How to effectively calm children when dealing with parent-child conflicts?

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How to effectively calm children when dealing with parent-child conflicts?

Source: Parenting Education Specialist, Ken Sir

From time to time, conflicts may arise between children and adults. In handling these conflicts, communication skills with children are very important, and there is a big difference between starting with “you” and starting with “I.”

Once, I was at the elevator entrance and saw a child trying to press the elevator button, but another child pressed it first. The child’s emotions immediately became volatile, and although the mother tried to bend down and deal with the situation, she found it difficult to calm the child’s emotions. What was involved in the situation?

This involves the mother using a few phrases, including “don’t cry”, “what do you want?” or “do you want me to go down to the next floor and let you press the button?” I want to remind parents that if they want to calm a child’s emotions, they should avoid using these types of phrases.

If we want to calm a child’s emotions, we can try using “I” at the beginning of the sentence, such as “I see you…”, “I know that you really want…”, and “Mom and Dad understand you”. When a child hears these words from their perspective, they will feel that you are on their side rather than opposing them.

In this way, through your body language—calming and hugging—it helps the child gradually learn to be calm and then slowly instill what you want to teach them. This would be very good.

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2024-2025 Freshman Form Collection Date

Our school will begin accepting applications for 2024-2025 academin year from 9:00 to 12:00 pm on 7/10/2023 (Saturday). Parents who are interested in applying are asked to submit relevant documents to the school (including filled-in form, registration form, original and copy of birth certificate, passport sized photos, four self-addressed envelopes with $4 stamps and addresses).

Parents can also submit application forms and related documents to the school during the following hours:

Monday to Friday: 9:00am – 4:30pm

Saturday: 9:00am -12:00pm

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2024-2025 Kindergarten’s curriculum orientation day & Campus Open Day

Kindergarten’s curriculum orientation day (there are still a few places left, so register as soon as possible!!!)

Date: 21-10-2023(Saturday)

Time: 9:30 a.m.-11:00 a.m.

Audience: Parents who want to nurture their children

Content: Introducing the school’s philosophy of cultivating talents, curriculum features and introduction to learning activities

Venue: Kowloon City Baptist Jubilee (Yun Ping) Primary School

Campus Open Day

Date: 28-10-2023(Saturday)

Time: 9:30a.m.-1:00 p.m.

Audience: interested parents and children

Content: Tour of campus facilities, English games, exploration of activity areas, and experience the fun of S.T.E.A.M activities

Venue: Tung Wah Group of Hospitals Chan King Har Kindergarten

If interested, parents can register through this website: https://bit.ly/3tdMlws

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Spinal problems should not be ignored. How to do the test at home?

Parenting Tips

system

Written by : Chiropractor, Dr. Wan Man Ho

Children are prone to sitting problems, even scoliosis and kyphosis. Parents should find out their children’s problems early and make corrections. But how can parents tell when their   children have scoliosis and kyphosis problems?

For scoliosis, parents can try the Adam Test, a common test used by chiropractors, by      asking a child to bend forward with his hands on the ground and see if there is a problem  with the muscles on either side of the spine. If there is, it means that there is a high           probability of scoliosis.

In terms of kyphosis, it means looking from the side, the head is in front of the body, as if  the neck is stretched out, or the head is bowed for a long time and the shoulders are bent    forward. Most children in Hong Kong have a functional condition, and often, as long as they are reminded to sit up straight, they will be able to sit up straight and stop having a        kyphosis.

To improve the kyphosis, the most important thing is to open both shoulders, use the         strength of the waist to lift the chest, and bring the chin back near the head. This is the      most correct sitting posture and will improve the kyphosis.

Spine problems are related to the foot?

 

Some children have flat feet, resulting in a bit of in-toeing or out-toeing. The shape of the  foot will slowly affect the pelvis and create some highs and lows.

 

If a child often bumps his knees when learning to walk or even trips over himself after a    few steps, this may be a case of in-toeing or even an imbalance of the feet.

If your child has any of these problems, you should take him or her to a professional, such as a chiropractor, physiotherapist, or even a podiatrist, to get checked out. 

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Learn English from games without difficulty

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system

Source: Speech therapist, Miss Carley

 

Often, we want children to learn English vocabulary, which may be difficult and boring for them. In fact, parents can try to create some simple games for children to learn these English words through the process of playing.

 

The first game is called “Covering the Card.” It is similar to the card game we usually play. Parents can write some words that children need to learn on white paper and draw more sheets with laughing faces. How do I play it? To begin, we must mix the cards and distribute them evenly to each player; for example, each parent and child will receive four cards. Then, take turns playing the top card. For example, if this card is drawn, read out the word, explain its meaning, and use the word in a sentence. But if a laughing face is drawn, the player needs to quickly slap the card. If the player is slower, they must take all the cards and keep them in their hands. The player with no cards in their hand wins.

The second game is called “passing three levels.” It is actually similar to the game we usually play, but this time we have pre-written some vocabulary words in the nine squares. Then, we take turns with the child to draw some crosses or circles. For example, if I draw a cross here, I need to read, explain, and make a sentence with the vocabulary word in this square. Then it’s the parent’s turn; they might use a circle, just like in “passing three levels.” The first person to connect three cards in a straight-line win.

 

The third game is a memory matching game. Parents can write some Chinese characters that children need to learn on white paper and write each character twice. Parents can randomly place pairs of word cards on the table. Then parents can ask the children to take a look and remember them, and then flip the cards over. Parents and children take turns flipping over two cards. If they match, the child is asked to use the word to make a sentence, explain its meaning, and read it out loud.

 

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“Exciting Updates on Primary School Allocation”

We are thrilled to announce that this year’s graduating class allocation results are in, and we are proud to report that 100% of our students have been admitted to their top three primary school choices! Congratulations to all of our graduating students and their families. We wish you all a bright future and a pleasant and effective learning experience in your new primary schools.

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How should parents deal with young children who are overly addicted to cell phone games?

Parenting Tips

system

Source: Family Dynamic, Marriage and Family Therapist, and Hypnotherapist, Wong Shi Ming

 

Phones emit light and sound, which always attracts children to play endlessly. Some children cannot let go of their phones no matter what they are doing, whether it is eating, riding in a car, or going to school. How can parents solve this problem?

 

First of all, everyone should understand that the children’s reaction is inevitable. Phones can provide a lot of sensory stimulation, and there is no game over. It can be restarted, which gives a sense of accomplishment and can also distance children from the pressure and frustration of parents and school, making them feel invincible. Physiologically speaking, playing electronic games will release a large amount of dopamine in the brain, which excites and stimulates the frontal lobe, and gradually loses self-control. Therefore, many adults cannot control themselves, let alone children?

 

 

Children can also be drawn to phones without realizing it, which gives most parents in Hong Kong nightmares today. I see many parents and children caught in a never-ending cycle of struggle and frustration. If not controlled, it not only affects children’s learning but also seriously affects their focus, brain development, health, and eye diseases. Therefore, phone addiction will also be listed as a form of psychological addiction, like alcohol and drugs.

In fact, I have seen a middle school student addicted to playing the mobile game “PUBG,” where he had to pick up items on the ground, some of which could be booby-trapped and explode. What caused him to be hospitalized? He was unable to use his hands to hold objects; instead, he had to touch them lightly, which caused him to feel nervous. He was afraid of using his fingers to pick up things. Therefore, if you discover such a problem, you can handle it early and prevent situations like the one above from happening.

 

Parents have more experience, wisdom, and resources than their children, and you can’t lose as a parent. Your only weakness is that you love your child too much. You may be too soft-hearted, but you need to know that it’s easy to give but hard to take it back. Therefore, parents should first negotiate a reasonable and feasible plan with their children, such as allowing 30 minutes of playtime per day, but only after they finish their homework.

 

As for controlling children, parents should first choose an appropriate battlefield, avoiding public places, and the best place is at home. Even when taking the phone away, parents should try to avoid physical contact, such as snatching or unplugging the phone cord, which could harm the relationship with their child. Parents should first use a gentle and affirmative tone to warn their child multiple times. If the child still refuses to hand over the phone, remind him of the consequences he agreed to, and eventually, when he falls asleep, you will be able to retrieve it. But parents must firmly execute the consequences without any room for negotiation, even if it means resorting to negative strategies.

To provide a more positive approach, parents can offer opportunities for their children to engage in outdoor activities together and create a family environment that gives children options, a sense of achievement, and a chance to start over, building their confidence and abilities, all of which can help attract children away from their phones.

 

Finally, many parents worry that if their child doesn’t have a phone while other children do, it could lead to feelings of inadequacy and concerns about falling behind in their development. So, I know it’s not possible to keep kids away from phones completely, but I think parents should try to keep their kids away from phones for as long as possible, especially when they’re young.

 

At the same time, parents should be careful and not take this issue lightly. With enough creativity and interaction with their children and by remaining persistent, parents can change their children’s habits.

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The highlights of students’ Second Semester Unit 1 in school

These were the highlights of Learning Unit 1, “The Crocodile and the Dentist” activity, of K1 students in the 2nd Semester. The story talks about the crocodile’s ? courageous visit to the dentist ?⚕ because of a toothache. Both the crocodile and the dentist felt intense fear ? during the visit, but eventually, they faced their fears with courage. Students learned about the dentist’s job and how to protect their teeth from the instructional activity, helping cultivate a courageous ? and positive attitude. They also delved into the reasons why the dentist and the crocodile were afraid of each other. Students made their own giant 3D toothbrush ?, which incorporated elements of art.

These were the highlights of Learning Unit 1, “Duckling So Goes on a Trip” activity, of K2 students in the 2nd Semester. The story talks about Duckling So’s (the main protagonist) happy life on the farm until she won the grand prize?of a trip around the world for two. The animals on the farm were happy for her, but each one of them also aspired to be the fortunate companion of Duckling So to travel around the world ?. It was very nerve-racking ? to choose who among her good friends on the farm to bring with her on the trip. Through this activity, students learned about the different emotions as well as the customs and cultures of different countries.

These were the highlights of Learning Unit 1, “The Invisible Person Comes to My House” activity, of K3 students in the 2nd Semester. The story talks about the invisible person (the main protagonist) arriving to his family on Earth ?. The little protagonist discovered that when the invisible person eats food, he could clearly see how food passes through the digestive system. Through this activity, students observed ? the digestion process and learned how to deal with constipation. They also realized the importance of a balanced diet and ways to achieve it. In addition, students also participated in the Little Treasure in the Stuffed Toy’s Body Seminar, where they were introduced to the different physical characteristics of boys and girls and learned how to respect other people’s bodies and protect their bodies ?.

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“Children’s Day at Happy School”

We want to express our gratitude to the parents and children in Sha Tin who participated in our school play day. Due to the overwhelmingly positive response, we have scheduled two additional sessions, both of which are now fully booked.
We want to thank all the parents and children for their love and care, and we ask all registered participants to come to our school as scheduled. If you have any enquiries, please contact us at 2604-4380.

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Can mindfulness also help stabilize children’s emotions?

Parenting Tips

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Registered clinical psychologist, Dr. Felicia Lee

 

Recently, many people have been learning mindfulness to manage their emotions and think more clearly. However, mindfulness can also help us stabilize children’s emotions. Mindfulness, also known as “jing-nim” in Chinese, is a concept that combines Eastern philosophy and Western science. Mindfulness is about consciously and non-judgmentally focusing our attention on the present moment. We are aware of where our focus is at this moment, and we do not think about whether something is right or wrong. We just observe and describe. So how can we use mindfulness to help stabilize children’s emotions?

 

The most important thing is to stop first. This requires us to practice regularly, and through mindfulness practice, we will know what methods can be used to effectively stop ourselves or our children. Because sometimes children will stop when they hear their mother shout, but what can be done to stop them when their mothers are not around or when no one is around to advise them? This is an important thing we can practice with mindfulness.

 

The second step is observation. What kind of mindset should we use to observe? We should observe with a non-judgmental mindset. When a child has emotions, we usually see their emotional outburst, and sometimes we have thoughts or critical words in our minds. If we describe this thought with a non-judgmental mindset and also feel our own emotions, we can see the child’s real needs through their behavior.

 

The third step is to use language to describe your current feelings or what is happening at the moment because when you use words, it will calm down the center of your emotions.

 

I remember one time when two brothers were arguing, and one of them stretched out his foot, which began to provoke the other, who then slowly became angry. They would kick each other, at first lightly and then with more force. Actually, when you see this kind of situation, you will feel very angry.

 

First, do not stop them, because when you stop them, you are characterizing one person as wrong, and after you characterize them, one of them may become even angrier. The worst thing is that they may both become angry together and say, “We’re just playing; why are you taking it so seriously?” So calm yourself down first, and then ask them casually, “What’s happening now?” Sometimes they may answer you, which is already good. If they cannot answer and are still angry, you can separate them, which is also okay.

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